2809'11 SMILE
Wednesday, September 28, 2011 | 12:45 AM | 0 comments
Been thinking alot lately about many stuffs like personal things and studies. Im really worried that I cant make it to Sec 5 and couldnt continue my future plan. Though this consultation week I can dont go back school, I chose to go back and study real hard especially for my Maths. I aint giving up on my Science though. I went for Physics today and it's like killing me. Still, I cant give up cause I need to go Sec 5. Just realise that I've planned to study Maths and Science but forgot about Geography. Design & Technology will have 4 days of revision before the paper starts. So it's okay that I focus on the others first. Monday and Tuesday went back school to study and taking a break on Wednesday and Thursday but Friday still going back for appointment with teachers.So much things had happened and I really dont know how to adjust my emotions. In the past, no matter what problem it is, I wouldn't be affected but now, Im slightly affected though. Thinking if in the past, I wasnt like this and didnt cause him to change and be like this, how different would everything be? It would definately be better than now. Really wish that time would go back and let him have time to think before he act. Dont wish anything bad would happened. Hope he comes home soon, Im starting to miss you. I want you back here, let you scold me and dote me. I cant change what's already happened but I wish to make amends to what Ive did wrong. Stop talking about him le barh. The other him, whom I love, is there when I needed him though he cant accompany me most of the time, he tries his very best to spend more time with me. Im grateful for what he has done. While he's sleeping, Im writing this post and also, Im falling asleep too. Finish this post and gonna go sleep already. Really tired from everything.
Sleeping is the only time when I dont need to think of anything. No matter what happens, Im going to smile and face it bravely.
If the world turns its back again against you, I'll stand behind you and turn my back against the world.
Nothing gonna bring me down again.
1809'11 Useless me
Sunday, September 18, 2011 | 7:14 PM | 0 comments
Just 2 more days till the day but now, such things happened. Start anew? See if feelings fade after the years? What can I say or what can I do? Nothing cause Im just useless. Too useless to do anything to stop these from happening. Went to look through all the pictures that we had then realise we dont really have much pictures together. At first, I think youre the only one madly in love. Now, I've really become the person who cant leave you, dont wish to leave you. Seriously, what can I say to you? Ignore them and continue our relationship? I dont expect you to defy them and dont wish us to be seperated. Im really heartbroken. Feel very sick now that seems like all illness is here. Like you said "we come so close that only death, can seperate us", I hope Im the one who dies but dont wish to leave you behind also. All your words, you said Im your girl but you aint sharing your burden with me. Pushing all the blames on yourself, suffering yourself, who am I to you then? I can't solve your problem but let me face the problem with you cause I dont wish to be useless anymore. I dont know how to take public transport, do work, buy things, everytime need people help, you're the one always there to teach me. Im grateful for your actions, falling in love with you is totally not a wrong cause it has taught me alot. Lastly, I still want to say that I dont want to leave you no matter what happens.